


What Do You Do When You’ve Lost Your Best Friend

by tsukizzie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But it’s written as a Sasha/Connie fic so, Canon Compliant, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MAJOR SEASON 4 AOT SPOILERS, Mentioned Marco Bott, Mentioned Sasha Blouse, One-Sided Connie Springer/Sasha Blouse, You can decide if Sasha loves niccolo or connie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:20:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29529750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukizzie/pseuds/tsukizzie
Summary: — MAJOR SEASON 4 AOT SPOILERS —read at your own risk!!Also I wrote this before reading ch 138 and I can’t believe they lowkey fit together 😐********************************Jean and Connie work through their grief together. Sometimes they laugh it off, other times they let their tears and sniffles fill the silence. They talk about the ones they miss the most. The ones they used to call their best friends.*********************************Jean and Connie walked together as they left the graveyard. They were silent... for the most part.“‘She was like my twin?’”“What else was I supposed to say?!?”
Relationships: Jean Kirstein & Connie Springer, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse & Jean Kirstein & Connie Springer, Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer, Sasha Blouse/Niccolo
Kudos: 3





	What Do You Do When You’ve Lost Your Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before reading ch 138 and I’m in pain af so that’s why I’m posting it 😁😁

The rain first came as a light fog and drizzle. It would pause, and then come back. Now, the force of the downpour was overwhelming. The droplets were thick, and they would splash every time they hit the ground. Jean and Connie took cover under a tree, watching the water pour down the sides of the smooth gravestones. 

They stood in silence, absorbed in their own thoughts. They had just finished visiting Sasha’s grave, and the reality of it still hadn’t grasped their minds. When they got back to the airship, she’d be there to welcome them with a warm smile on her face, and food in her mouth. Jean took note of Connie’s lifeless and dull expressions. It was hard to imagine that just a few years ago he had been the one who showed the most emotion- whether it was happiness, fear, or anger- something was always there. Now he just looked empty. 

But, Jean couldn’t help himself. “‘We were like twins?’” He said, repeating Connie’s words to Niccolo.

Connie glared at him. “Well, what else was I supposed to say?” He asked, bitterness lacing his tone.

“I don’t know, anything but that! She completed you, and not in a sibling-like way. You loved her Connie!”

“Niccolo loved her too, Jean. I just... couldn’t bring myself to say it in front of him.” Connie was now staring at his boots in defeat. “It’s not like it’ll change the fact that I’ll never see her again. So it doesn’t matter.” He added. Jean could hear the hurt in his voice. So, they returned to their previous silence, and they began to walk home, despite the ever-present torrent of rain.

Jean hated having to watch Connie go through the same pain he had experienced not too long ago. It absolutely broke his heart. He was still grieving over Sasha too, and felt guilty every time his mind wandered to him. To that horrible day, where he gazed upon half of a body, with bones and skin torn to shreds.

That night, he heard a small gasp escape from Connie. Jean quietly turned his head to face him, pretending to be asleep. A muffled sob escaped Connie’s mouth, and tears started streaming down his cheeks. His breath was uneven and riddled with hiccups.

Jean sat up on his bed and looked across the room, letting his eyes meet Connie’s.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled. “I know.”

Connie’s sobs became louder, and he hid his head in between his knees.

“I-I never told her,” he began shakily. “I never told her th-that I loved her.” He let out another sob. Jean’s vision went blurry as tears pricked his eyes.

“I know,” he whispered. 

“She-She didn’t even realize it. I had be-been falling for her this entire time. She had everyone wr-wrapped around her finger. Me, Mi-Mikasa, and even Nic-Niccolo. She didn’t even kn-know how spec-ecial she was to everyone.” 

“I know.”

They had lost everything.

“Do you remember when Marco died?” Jean asked. Connie sniffled and nodded. “He was my best friend. Or, thats what I told myself. He was so much more than that. At the time, I refused to admit that I thought of him as more, but he... he completed me too,” Jean breathed. “He was so kind and his smile was so contagious. We did everything together until Trost. One of the last things I remember him saying to me was that I’d-“ His voice hitched, and tears threatened to spill. “He told me that I’d be a good leader. He said it was because I was weak, and I could understand others. So... I get it, Connie.” Another sniffle filled their silence. Then, Connie clambered out of his bed and sat beside Jean.

“I’m sorry...” He whispered thickly.

“What the hell are you sorry for, dumbass?” Connie didn’t respond to this.

“She... she died in my arms, Jean.” He spoke up. “She bled out and died, and all I could do was hold her like an idiot.”

“But she wasn’t lonely, Con. She knew she had someone to call home until the very end. And if anything, I think she would’ve preferred to die in your arms than anyone else’s.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” They lapsed into another moment of comfortable silence. Connie’s body still shook with hiccups, but his tears had dried up. His voice cracked when he whispered again. “I miss her so much.” 

“Me too,” Jean whispered back. 

“Do you think that she and Marco are waiting on us? You know, in heaven?” 

“Yeah, but I know they don’t want us joining them any time soon. I can hear Sasha right now,” jean chuckled to himself. “‘Connie Springer, if you don’t dry those tears up right now, I swear I’ll come back and haunt you! You have a full life ahead of you, so don’t you dare think about me!’” He spoke in a horrible imitation of her voice. He laughed again, letting another tear roll down his cheek. Connie started laughing too.

“She’s probably pigging out to all the meat she could ever want,” He said with a smile. “Sasha, if you’re listening to us right now, I only have one thing to say. I’m never gonna get over you, so you can haunt me all you want. I’ll be sure to save you a little bit of leftovers from my meal too. I’m sure ghosts get hungry every once in awhile.” His smile now spread from ear to ear. Jean couldn’t help but smile too.

“Do you think those ashes would be proud, Connie?” Jean asked.

“Yeah. Marco’s definitely proud as shit,” he said. They leaned into each other’s warmth, thinking about their loved ones as they drifted into a peaceful yet grieving sleep.

———————————————

“Fuck,” Sasha said, teary-eyed and frustrated.

“Look who’s pissed now.” Ymir sneered.

“Shut up Ymir. At least historia knows that you loved her too.”

“Sasha, calm down. And Ymir- leave her alone,” a gentle voice said from behind. Ymir rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say, Marco. Did you hear Jean talking about you down there?” Marco clutched his right hand to his chest and nodded. He sat down beside Sasha.

“It never gets any easier,” he whispered softly. Sasha wailed aloud.

“But I don’t want Connie to look like that! He doesn’t deserve this!” She cried, burying herself into Marco’s shoulder.

“None of them do,” he whispered. A stray tear fell into his lap.

“How long will we have to wait?” She finally said.

Marco just shook his head in reply. “I don’t know.”

“That’s bullshit. I want him to enjoy his life, but I don’t know if I can make it here without him. Marco what if... what if we never see each other again? Is that possible?”

“I’m not sure, but I hope not.” He shifted to get a better view of the scene below them. Connie and Jean were laying in a crisscross of limbs on the small bed, snoring softly. Marco didn’t want to think about how long it had been since he had last touched Jean. 

“I wish we could tell them we miss them too.”

“I know, but at least they have each other. Right now, that is enough for me. As long as they are happy, I’m okay.”

“Yeah. Fuck Connie for making me cry, though.” They both burst into laughter.

“Goodbye,” Marco whispered one last time, waving as their view of the two boys completely disappeared.

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh if you were waiting on the eremin update... I’m sorry 😳


End file.
